


Sharp-Dressed Man

by TeaRoses



Category: Cowboy Bebop
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-14
Updated: 2010-03-14
Packaged: 2017-10-07 23:32:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/70388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeaRoses/pseuds/TeaRoses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for gen_challenge on LiveJournal.  The prompt was:  Jet has to cross-dress. Bonus points if Spike was supposed to be the one cross-dressing, but screwed up his ankle or some such because he couldn't walk in heels.</p><p>I went for the bonus points.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sharp-Dressed Man

When Jet got back to the Bebop from his trip to the surface of Mars, Spike and Faye were sitting on the couch arguing.

"I'm not doing it, Spike. You're just going to have go find another woman."

"Faye... you have to!"

"What's going on?" asked Jet, sitting across from them.

"We wanted to trick this bounty head with a fake drug buy," said Spike. "But I told them a woman would be there, and now Faye says she won't do it. We can't call back and tell them it will be a man instead. They'd know something was up."

"Why won't Faye do it?" Jet asked.

"If you must know... I knew the guy," said Faye.

"How well?" asked Spike.

"I cheated him at cards," she confessed.

"That covers about half the population of the solar system," said Jet.

"Not funny. He was really angry that I won and believe me, he remembers me."

Spike sighed. "Now what are we going to do? Send Ed?"

A voice came from the corner where Ed was typing furiously. "One, two, three... whee! Ed wins again!"

The other three all shook their heads.

"Not Ed," said Faye. "How about Spike dresses up as a woman?"

"No way!" said Spike angrily.

"You want to lose this bounty?" asked Jet.

Faye pulled Spike by the hand towards her room. "I have a sweater that will be great with your eyes," she said.

"You own actual clothing?" Jet asked.

For ten minutes all Jet could hear was commentary on the proceedings.

"You'd have to shave your legs."

"The hell I will."

"You're very flat-chested for a woman."

"That's because I'm not a woman!"

Then there was a crash and a string of expletives. Jet ran to the back and found Spike sitting on the floor clutching his ankle, a black leather sandal still strapped to his foot.

"I told you no high heels!" Spike took the shoe off and threw it at Faye. When he got up, he was swaying badly and had to grab a wall for support. "I think I sprained my ankle."

"That pink sweater really does go well with your eyes, though," said Jet with a grin.

"Laugh it up Jet. Guess who's next!" Spike replied.

"Oh no," said Jet, backing off and holding up his hands. "I wouldn't fit in Faye's clothes. Or her shoes."

"Well, I could go down to the surface and pick you up something," said Faye. "There's a special store for cross-dressers that I happen to know of..."

"No!" yelled Jet.

"Do you want to lose the bounty?" asked Faye.

Jet considered that for several minutes. "If that's the only way this will get done... fine, I'll do it. But no high heels."

Faye came back from Mars with a bundle of clothing, some boxes, and a nasty smile. She held up a black dress in front of Jet. "You can't go wrong with a simple black dress!" she said happily.

"I'm going to look like an idiot," said Jet.

"Not with these!" Faye held up two round white objects.

"Those better not be what I think they are." said Jet.

"Of course! Fake boobs!" said Faye.

Jet gave her an exasperated look. "No way am I wearing fake boobs."

"You'll give it all away if you don't!" replied Faye. She opened a box. "And here's your wig."

"I guess I knew I'd have to have a wig," admitted Jet. "But why blonde?"

"Go shave and we'll start dressing you."

Jet's hand went to his face. "Shave?"

Faye rolled her eyes. "Of course you're going to have to shave. What did you think, you were joining the circus?"

"Not funny," muttered Jet, but he headed for his room.

When he came out, clean-shaven and in his underwear, Faye began instructing him in the finer points of putting on a brassiere. When he finished, he asked "How do I look?"

"Like a big bald guy wearing fake boobs," Spike replied.

Faye handed him the dress to put over his head.

"Now you look like a big bald guy in a dress," reported Spike.

"I didn't ask you!"

Finally Faye arranged the wig on Jet's head, and handed him a pair of shoes.

"I bought low heels, just in case," she said.

"You look like a big bald guy--"

"Shut up, Spike."

Jet checked himself out in the bathroom mirror.

"I'm not sure if I exactly look female, but this will have to do."

"I could give you makeup!" offered Faye.

"No. Well, maybe a little lipstick."

Jet went down to the surface and Spike and Faye waited for "Jenny" to come back. When he finally arrived, he was still in his outfit and looking unhappy.

"You didn't catch the bounty?" asked Spike.

"Yeah, when he showed up for the deal I just cuffed him and turned him in," said Jet in a cranky tone, throwing the wig down onto the table.

"So what's wrong?" asked Faye.

Jet didn't answer, just stalked back to his room and came back in his jumpsuit.

"Did the bounty make a pass at you or something?" asked Spike. "Because you look really pissed off."

"It's going to take weeks for this beard to grow back," said Jet.

"Well, did he make a pass at you?" interrupted Faye.

Jet shook his head. "That bounty head couldn't have been less than twenty-five years old."

"And?" they asked together.

"He said I reminded him of his mother."


End file.
